Dallas Stars center Jason Spezza joins Mark Stone, Dustin Brown in water bottle follies

Water bottles lack illustrative graphics indicating which end is up and don’t come with an instruction manual. They rely on the user to apprehend that the bottle’s nozzle will allow access to the liquid refreshment within, and the bottom will not. Unfortunately, this level of sophistication is beyond the scope of some professional hockey players.

Dallas Stars center Jason Spezza is just the latest in a line of NHL players that have failed to grasp the basic operation of a water bottle. In last weekend’s 2-1 loss to the Minnesota Wild, Spezza, seated on the bench, was flummoxed whilst trying to quench his thirst.

Last April, Senators right winger Mark Stone came up empty after squeezing his bottle bottom-side up. What’s even funnier, is that the commentator gave faulty instructions while trying to mock Mark.

Los Angeles Kings captain Dustin Brown set the standard for topsy-turvy bottles during the 2011-12 NHL season. Seated on the bench, he forcefully (and fretfully) squirted water away from his mouth and onto the ice.